Tender

I'm having a tender moment... I miss you angel baby. It's been so hard for me to go back and tell all those we love, that you are no longer with us. It hurts. It stings. But I'm trying to be strong. Someone mentioned the other day, 'there are alot of us out there who have gone through the same thing. Welcome to the club.' Well quite honestly, this is CLUB I never imagined joining, but so many out there who have gone through this nightmare-of-an-experiance. Lexi is still telling people 'there's a baby in my mommy's tummy.' So I finally had to sit down with her and really explain that our baby is back with Jesus, no baby in mommy's tummy. It hurt to have to do something like that, it really hurt. It makes me cry. I have officially put all my pregnancy clothes back away, and have taken down your ultrasound pictures from our fridge. It's not that I want to forget about you, I just need time to heal. Each hour changes-- some hours I'm fine and can talk about it, other moments I can't help but kiss your sweet pictures. I wish more than anything I could have found out your gender... Guess that will have til the eternities. Til then know I dream of you, I'm glad I could be your mommy for the few short weeks. Love you sweetbaby :), love you to the moon and back :)