Well

I woke up this morning feeling more 'well' than yesterday, and my hope a little more deflated.....in fact I wasn't sick at all. This is so unlike my other pregnancy's. I'm very unsure what to think. I find the walls of protecting my feelings, going up. I'm sad...

After typing the above paragraph at 2:16am. Yes I said 2:16am....daddy gave me a blessing this morning, It reminded me to have faith, and be comforted.

At 9am daddy calls and asked if I'd like an ultrasound, just one of the perks of being married to a doctor. :) I said I did. I rearranged my morning. He first did an stomach ultrasound. No sign of anything. So then he did the 'inside' ultrasound. We found you! We saw your little heart beating. I felt at ease. I felt grateful, I felt blessed. It was so wonderful to see your little heart. Dad had to get right back to work. Landn and I hit up the hospital cafe for a breakfast sandwich, since I had thrown up the food I tried to eat earlier. The sandwich tasted so good, and of course I had some minute maid OJ. Love that stuff these days. Daddy then sent me a happy face text, later we went to lunch together. Man, how I'm lovin potatoes these days, went to Wendy's and had a baked potato. Fries don't sound good to me though, which is weird I normally love love love them. But they just don't look good to me these days, baked or mashed though--they put a smile on my face. I love looking at your sweet pic. See you again on the 17th. Until then, may I have faith and continued comfort, as we embark on this new pregnancy journey:)

Hopeful but realistic

I'm trying so hard to be hopeful, yet realistic at the same time....Sunday morning I started spotting...yesterday night it was a nerve-wrecking amount...Jared called Dr. Alejo to see what he thought, they together decided to start me on some progesterone, to see if that helps sustain the baby and stop my bleeding. It's usually taken by those who have repetitive miscarriages, and it is taken as soon as they ovulate....we decided it wouldn't hurt, and only help. I'm trying to be hopeful, but I find myself with water eyes here and there. I bought another pregnancy test today and took it. It was a quick positive, so at least my hcg levels are still high. ... I read my scriptures this morning, looking for comfort. We read them as a family at nights, but just needed a little extra peace and comfort this morning. While at Walmart today I scanned the baby section. Thinking about which pacifiers and bottles and toys and diaper bags I might want to buy. Just too nervous to actually by anything though. Maybe when first trimester is over I'll feel more at ease. Until then I'm just really trying to be hopeful but realistic.

Cravings

Let the CRAVINGS begin!!!!! I can not even begin to explain these weird cravings...today, applesauce and fried chicken. More often than not though, I crave minute maid (yes has to be minute maid) orange juice and pizza. Thankfully my cute hubby fell into my weird fried chicken craving and is at the store as we speak. Boy, oh, boy do I love that man!:)

Dr's appt

I made my first dr's appt today. I'll go in on march 14. It's a Wednesday. :) Lexi Lou will be at preschool, I'm going to find a babysitter for Landon..and just daddy and I are going to go. I hope and pray you are developing correctly and the day we go in you will show us your beautiful beating heart. My heart longs to see your heart beating...to have you join our family. :) I'll admit, I'm nervous, and a liTtle scared. Fear of being heart broken again... Love you sweet one. Today I wasn't nauseated at all. Which is a good thing?! I was able to be a fully functioning mom for your brothers and sisters. Love you sweet baby!

So excited

The first waves of nausea have hit. But it's just a sweet reminder you are growing. Daddy and i talked last night how we are just so excited to be pregnant with you. We love you so much. WE pray and hope for the best. :) Love you sweet one.

I cried a lot the day you were due. Daddy was so sweet and brought me home flowers. I bauled some more. Please know I love you and hope someday you can be apart of our family if it's part of heavenly father's plan. Love you angel.

On a different note, we are excited to begin a new chapter. I woke up during the night and randomly decided to take a pregnancy test... My period is not due for a few days. So I don't know why I thought I should, plus it was 3 in the morning...lol. But the result was two lines. We are expecting!!! I waited til morning to tell daddy. I said I had to go potty, and came back to in the room and showed him the test. We are beyond thrilled. Definitely a secret between just mommy and daddy for awhile. I thought about waiting til valentine's day to tell him but I was just too excited to contain it all. Daddy is now at work, but he just sent me a text it said 'I'm just so happy' we love you sweet one. Now to prepare for exhaustion, puking, big prenatals and 'plug-ups' I can do this! Lol:)